Target: Britney Spears

Can't sing, can dance a bit, not very bright, not the slightest bit classy, whiny, and shallow.

So, not 'priceless' - worthless.

Target: Norman Kember

Now that he's home and safe, we feel we have to ask: Norman, what the hell did you think you were doing in Iraq in the first place?

Far more trouble than he's worth.

(Moore, Jim and Mary F)

Target: Esther Rantzen

A shrill buck-toothed has-been. Let's just make CERTAIN she never gets back on telly again.

(My words; nominated by Jim F)

Target: Noel Edmonds

Actually, Noel, no we HAVEN'T forgiven you for Mr Blobby yet. You'd better hope that suitcase is bulletproof.

(My words; nominated by Jim F)

Target: Demi Moore

Can someone tell me why this woman is in the public eye to start with? For shagging Bruce Willis? Well apart from that, she's a talent-free zone, too muscular to be sexy, arrogant and irritating. Get rid of her.

Targets: Paul and Heather McCartney

A two-for-one offer. Both are boring, pious, and incredibly self-important. And Paul just WILL NOT STOP bringing out new records, no matter how heavily we all hint. I reckon some seal hunter could get the two of them with one shot, and we could all give a huge collective sigh of relief.

(My words; nominated by Jim F)

Target: Sharon Stone

Basic Instinct 2? Oh, please. Put 'em away, love.